There are certain things I know now:
- I know that when you try to make conversation with the butcher and he says, "Like I said, sir..." then you should just be grateful that you have a butcher you can go to. But don't expect him to be grateful that you're grateful
- A conservatory is fine in the heat but it's even better when it's raining
- You shouldn't really mention having a conservatory
- Sometimes you have do a bad thing to appreciate all that is good
- There are green parrots in the wild in Twickenham. I suspect they're following me. I used to see them in Greenwich Park. They may not, of course, be the same ones
- Bristol is a nice city. I'm going back there soon
- Radiohead didn't deliberately become avant-garde and obscure. They just forgot how to write songs
- I'm not celebrating England's win over New Zealand. It felt like a low quality game between two low quality teams. A win only confirms that Michael Vaughan is a great captain. Michael Vaughan is not a great captain.. Ok, he might be quite good but he's such an arse. His interviews are limp cliches held together but simplistic, political analysis designed to promote the self than express honest emotions
- Spot the odd one out in this picture (clue: the answer is Michael Vaughan)
- Why is he the odd one out? Well, much like his interview technique, he's trying to be something he's not. He wants to look tough. He actually looks camp. Very, very camp
- It doesn't matter what I think
- It doesn't matter what anyone thinks
- Strangers are often the people who help you to see more clearly
- These days I only write in order to avoid writing. It would be nice to think that this essay really might write itself. Somehow I doubt it
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